Here's Your Sign: I'm Broken

The thing is, Divorce HURTS. I know that there are times when it's best. I know that it is going to be okay. But it still hurts. I wish there was a way to make parting easier, even when it's so necessary. I wish it didn't have to hurt so much. I wish people wouldn't ask if you were okay and that somehow you'd just be okay. I know I will. I know there is certainly life after this. I'm just tired of the hurt. I want to scream sometimes and can't. I hate faking okay. I wish I could go a little nuts and not have to worry about what would happen if I did. I wish I had the freedom to drive to the beach right this very second and breath. I am so tired of feeling so constricted. Life will turn around soon because it has to. It will make since soon because it will be behind me and then I will be able to see. Okay so maybe that doesn't make that much since but it does to me.

I'm screaming inside right now and nobody sees the pain. Which is the point I guess. Nobody really wants to see someone else fall apart do they? I guess I already kind of am.

Grateful & Thankful

Sometimes we forget to say thanks. Thanks for being there, thanks for caring, thanks for just being you. We are who we are because of the people we allow in our lives and I've being meaning to say thank you to all of them.

Thank you to my Madre to with whom I wouldn't be me. For all you've done, for always being there, thank you. For never giving up on me even when you weren't sure how to lead me, thank you.

To my Ma-in-Laws both are wonderful and both are very similar (wonder what that means....) You may not notices how much I listen or how much I care about you but I do. Thank you for aways having patience even as I stumble. For not just shaking me but explaining why things maybe the way they are. Thank you for being you. & for my Spare Ma-in-Law... all I can say is WOW! I never realized how great you are. Thank you for being in my corner, even when you don't agree with me. I am so grateful to have you there.

To the one I call my sis-in-law. You are unique, you have often been my Jiminy Cricket & we both know it. I love you and am so glad God put someone so much like me, and yet so very different, in my life to shake me up when other won't ;-) Without you I'd surely be very different.

To my aunts & uncles, thank you for always letting me vent, for being that sounding board we all need.

To my Brother, thank you for showing me time and time again how NOT to do things!!! Btw I'm so very Proud of how you've turn out... things could have been so different.

To all my other family & friends, thank you for putting up with me. I have a better understanding of what makes me tick because of it, and what to watch for.

To my husband. I love you. You don't always see it, and you don't always let me say it but I do. I am grateful we are taking this next step in our relationship and building a better tomorrow for us and our family. It takes courage to admit you might have faults and greater courage to say lets fix it. Thank you for finally taking my hand.

It's funny how God puts certain people in your life and what they can show you. Reflection is all well and good, but moving forward is necessary too. thank you one and all for being my support team, the web that binds me.

Iced Tea

So for years I've watched my mother drink Iced Tea and thought why?? I grew up drinking it (and swear it's why I'm so short... you know all that caffeine) as did everyone in my family. I watched as my grandparents drank pitcher after pitcher. I can now tell the difference in day old tea versus freshly brewed tea and I owe it all to my mother. But I never got it. I didn't see the big deal in Iced Tea until today. Now I get it! It's an alternative to all the sugar drinks that only add to the hips. So now I'm off to brew my own tea.

For those of you that need a little kick for your tea here's one of my fav's:

Long Island Iced Tea

1/2 oz. Vodka
1/2 oz. Gin
1/2 oz. Rum
1/2 oz. Triple Sec
1/2 oz. Tequila
1 oz. Sour Mix
Cola

- Fill mixing glass with ice
- Add Vodka, Gin, Rum, Triple Sex, Tequila, Sour Mix
- Shake
- Pour into glass
- Top w/ Cola
- Garnish w/ lemon slice

Bridal Shower Lingerie Poem

Your wedding day is approaching real soon
& before you know it you'll be on your honeymoon.

As your bridal party, we got together
to help add more steam to that cool (PUT MONTH OF WEDDING HERE) weather.
To ensure that you'll have a really great time,
open each bag as I read each rhyme.

Monday: You'll both take it slow,
white innocence is the way to go.

Tuesday:You'll be all warmed up,
in a hue of floral you will be(PUT GROOM'S NAME) buttercup

Wednesday: Hump day after all
with this leopard print(Husband's Name) will be climbing the walls.

We wanted to have a little fun to,
so we thought real hard to see what we can do.
Put this on (Husband's Name) he will look out of sight
in this matching print you will have a wild, wild night.

Thursday: Will prove to be the most romantic,
All in pink you will make (Husband's Name) heart tick.

Friday: You will be sexy as a kitten in bed,
(Husband's Name) will be calling you his lady in red.

Saturday: Fulfills every fantasy and desire,
clad in black you will set(Husband's Name) on fire.

Sunday: Is your day of rest
since all week long you have given (Husband's Name) your best,
so with these pajamas cuddle up in bed,
lay down, close your eyes and rest your head.
But just in case (Husband's Name) is still on the make,
here are some Tylenol for that old,"NOT TONIGHT HONEY I HAVE A HEADACHE"!

We hope you enjoyed this little poem. Take these gifts & use them often in your new home.

obviously I'm gearing up for that Bridal shower I told y'all about :-) shop at http://www.mohot.com/

NFP

NFP, Natural Family Planning. I stumbled across this term yesterday in search of the whole God opens the Womb thing. This concept complete caught me off guard. I knew that there were people out there that still practise the rhythm method but I didn't realize it was a whole movement. They amount of stuff I found out there for NFP was amazing. Here the "Church" is recommending every woman regardless of her status of trying to get pregnant or trying not to, should practise NFP for health reasons. They even quoted science for their argument. Here was a line I wasn't expecting to see. It was nearly a reasonable argument for their side. Afterwards I was left in awe about how well thought out the argument really was. Go NFP for walking the fence accurately.

Anyhow I'm not saying everyone should jump the NFP movement but that sometimes it doesn't hurt to listen to the other side... This blogger isn't ready to give up her MoHot just yet, but I'm glad to her argument as to why the 26 year old mother may not be so into it. ;-)

Lingerie and Bridal Showers

So I got this invitation to a Bridal Shower the other day, and it requested NO LINGERIE. Now, it was my turn to be surprised. This bridal shower is for a 26 year old mother and she doesn't want lingerie? Really? Does she think her mother doesn't want her having good sex? Does she think her mother doesn't realize she probably already does?? I mean she is getting married to a man she has a child with, she's not fooling anyone.

Enough ranting, but there is a lesson here. If a woman is so uncomfortable to receive lingerie from her closest friends and family in a well wishing of her future happiness for a fruitful marriage, what hope for romance does she have? Remember lingerie should be a relationship tool. It's not about bringing smut to your relationship but about bonding and relationship building. Lingerie is called intimates for a reason. You should feel free and comfortable with a little silk or satin in your drawers.

Just another Translucent Thought from Mohot.com

I AM a Front Desk Agent

I am a Front Desk Agent

I have advanced degrees in Accounting, Public Relations, Marketing, Business, Computer Science, Civil Engineering, and Swahili. I can also read minds.
Of course I have the reservation that you booked six years ago even though you don't have the confirmation number and you think it was made under a name that starts with "S".
It is completely my fault that the blizzard shut down the airport and you have to sleep in a warm king-size bed while 5000 of your co-travellers are sleeping in benches at the airport. I am sorry, and of course I'll be looking for a new job in the morning after you've spoken to my manager.

It is not a problem for me to give you seven connecting, non-smoking, poolside suites with two king beds in each, four rollaways, 3 cribs, and yes, I can install a wet bar. I know it is my fault that we do not have a helicopter landing pad, and yes I am working on my resume now.

I am a Front Desk Agent. I am expected to speak all languages fluently. It is obvious to me that when you booked your reservation for Friday on the weekend we're sold out that you really meant Saturday. My company has entrusted me with all financial information and decisions, and yes, I am lying to you when I say we have no more rooms available. It is not a problem for me to quickly construct several more guest rooms. THIS time I will not forget the helicopter landing pad. And it is my fault that everyone wanted to stay here. I should have known you were coming in, even though you had no reservation. After all, you stay at our brand of hotel all the time, 300 nights a year, and this is only the first time you've ever been to our city.

I am a front desk agent. I am quite capable of checking three people in, two people out, taking five reservations, answering fifteen incoming calls, delivering six bath towels to room 625, plunging the toilet in room 101, and restocking the supply of pool towels, all at the same time. Yes, I will be glad to call the van driver and tell him to drive over all the cars stuck in traffic because you've been waiting at the airport for 15 minutes and you've got jet lag.
I am a front desk agent, an operator, a bellhop, houseman, guest service representative, housekeeper, sales coordinator, information specialist, entertainment critic, restauranteur, stock broker, referee, janitor, computer technician, plumber, ice-breaker, postman, babysitter, dispatcher, laundry cleaner, lifeguard, electrician, ambassador, personal fitness trainer, fax expert, human jukebox, domestic abuse counselor, and verbal punching bag. Yes, I know room 112 is not answering their phone. And of course I have their travel itinerary so I know exactly where they went when they left here 9 hours ago, and what their cell phone number is.
I always know where to find the best vegetarian-kosher-Mongolian-barbecue restaurants. I know exactly what to see and do in this city in fifteen minutes without spending any money and without getting caught in traffic. I take personal blame for airline food, traffic jams, rental car flat tires, and the nation's economy.

I realize that you meant to book your reservation here. People often confuse us with the Galaxy Delight Motel, Antarctica. Of course I can "fit you in" and yes, you may have the special $1 rate because you are affiliated with the Hoboken Accounting and Bagel Club.
I am expected to smile, empathize, sympathize, console, condole, upsell, downsell (and know when to do which), perform, sing, dance, fix the printer, and tell your friends that you're here. And I know exactly where 613 Possum Trot Lane is in the Way Out There subdivision that they just built last week.
After all, I AM a Front Desk Agent, now looking for a new job at perfectemployer.com!